November

November how I loathe you.

You may have given life to the one who I would marry, but you also gave him death.

A whole year?

How is that even possible?

It happened yesterday, in my heart and my mind.

How does one survive heartbreak? I don't even know, and yet, somehow, I'm still here.

Though, I hate being here so much.

I am anxious for my day to come, to be reunited with my family.

I can't believe I'm going to be all alone for another christmas. :(

and another one after that
and every single one til I fucking croak.

Some days I think that I should go to the gang infested areas of town and just loll around until I get caught in some crossfires. Wear some rival gang colors, that should do the trick.

But mostly, every night, I beg to not wake up.

But every morning I do.

When will this end?
will it ever?!