Sunday, August 23, 2009

My Body is Failing Me.

I know I shouldn't complain. Bear had it so much worse than me!

But my body is failing me. I wanted to immediately get outside this morning and clean up doggy doo and mow the lawn since the rain has finally stopped long enough to do so. However, I cleaned up maybe 3 or 4 poos (which was not easy because it was still wet from the rain!) but I couldn't take much more of it, my hip was screaming in pain.

I have a doctor's appointment coming up in September to talk about all this pain. I hope they won't dismiss me. I am not getting things done around here partly because of depression but mostly because of pain. Every time I have a burst of energy to get stuff done I end up stopping short because of pain.

It's not just in my hip, but my entire body! I don't know what the hell is going on. I've had pains before, some chronic but never like this. Never this bad for this long.

and sometimes I can't help but wonder if I have somehow inherited Bear's pain on top of my own.

It's a good punishment, I guess, but I don't know how to correct.

Yes, I know this blog has become a sounding board for all my complaints!

I wish it was still about Bear's progress.


mallen said...

Just wondering if your pain is in other joints. I have rheumatoid arthritis and sometimes it starts with just a few joints affected but can go to any and every joint. I would suggest getting your rheumatoid factor checked.

Jasmine said...

You are alive. It may not be feel like a blessing. I hear your pain. Its time to honour your baby, your bear and live the life they could not.