Sunday, August 23, 2009


I've been a bit moody this week. Frustrated. I don't blame anyone for it. It just is. It's no one's fault that things happened the way they did. No one's fault that I have to go out a couple days earlier than planned. I know, in my head, that no one is conspiring to make life more difficult for me.

It just feels like it is sometimes.

I wish I could get control of my emotions. Everything hits me at once and I get overwhelmed and don't know what to do. So I burst open. It's like shaking a can of pop and then opening it. You're going to get sprayed. And the people around me get sprayed. Oh, yes they do.

I'm not saying they shake this emotional can of pop on purpose. It just happens.

I keep getting focused on what could go wrong that I can't deal with solutions to prevent it. Like this whole trip thing. I have put some requests out there but nothing came back and I got frustrated and gave up before anyone had a chance to respond. Unfortunately though, most of the responses were not favorable or workable for the current situation. I know that it doesn't mean no one cares, but that emotional can has been shaken again and the little voice in my head says "no one cares, everyone hates you. life sucks, time to die"


I'll be glad when this week is over. I don't think my problems will be solved but at least I'll have this wedding and funeral out of the way.

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