I apologize for the delay in updates. I was having computer issues, but I think they are resolved for the time being.
Bear has been having pains in his legs lately. We are not entirely sure why there is pain. It may be caused by the blood clots, it may be caused by nerve damage due to compression of the spinal cord. It is uncertain at this point. It sounds like the doctors want to monitor it a couple days and if it doesn't go away then they will hopefully be doing some testing.
He has also had some stomach/abdominal pain but that seems to have resolved itself a bit. The doctors have increased his medication for pain.
While he has been sitting in his chair on at least a couple hours every day, he is still reluctant to even leave the floor. He is terrified of something happening to him and not getting help immediately. When I asked him what he is worried will happen, he includes things like falling out of his chair and not being able to get back in.
Because of his fear of further pain and problems arising, he does not want me to find out if he can have a pass out of the hospital to go to the candlelight ceremony that we have been going to for the last 2 years in honor of our daughter. It is on Friday. I really would like to go but I do not know if I want to go without him. I am not ready to live the life of a widow when my husband is still alive.
Some days, I go to visit him and I don't even know what to talk about anymore. How can we enjoy our time together, however much time we have left? How can we create some happy memories for these last weeks ?