Saturday, April 10, 2010

I am thinking of making this blog private. I don't think many people read it anymore, but making it private may help me know who is reading it. Not that it really matters if the whole world reads it or not but.. please let me know if you want an invite to read this if I make it private.

I know my last few posts have been negative-nelly but I tend to post on here during bad moments. It is not always bad, just so you know.

I've been keeping myself quite busy these days, by my standards anyway. It may not seem so busy compared to some other people's lives.

I have claimed this year to be for "The Great Purge of 2010" and so far I have really been busting my ass in the purging department. So far it is mostly papers. I have filled up several recycling bins and have at least 2 full boxes of papers to be shredded and 2 bags already shredded. I have thrown out tons of garbage and put tons of stuff in boxes to give away. I'm hoping to have a yard sale first and see if I can make any money off my crap. I have a garbage bag of clothes to give away and a bag of linens as well. This is not even counting the boxes etc. that B and I filled up just prior to finding out his cancer was back, when this was supposed to be "The Great Purge of 2008" (although honestly while I was purging stuff then it wasn't quite as ruthless as it is now. I am finding myself less attached to"stuff"... I no longer feel the need to keep something because so-and-so gave it to me.(sorry!) My new policy is that if I don't love it/use it/need it - it's gone. I mean yes, I still struggle with some things but mostly I am doing a pretty good job. I think though, that if people come over though they won't notice much of a difference yet. But I do, and frankly that's all that matters.

So, that was my somewhat positive post, so that you don't think I'm miserable 100 % of the time.

Thanks for sticking with me, if you're still reading.


Niecey said...

I read this and would love an invite if you go private. I feel deep sympathy for you and all you are going through and I remember you in my prayers frequently. You don't know me personally though, and I understand if you'd rather keep your blog private for people who know you.

Tina said...

Im still reading :) dont make it private its harder to remember to read the private blogs because they dont show up on the list. Im horrible at posting but Im always praying :) I think its great to purge it makes your mind clear and it refreshing.. I do it a few times a month when I start feeling closed in. Then I just buy more LOL Your doing great and its mice to see you feeling better, Its ok to feel good and I think sometimes we feel guilty when we do....God Bless and keep up that purging..

Naomi said...

I'm here. Sorry I don't comment much.
I'd like an invite
My thoughts are with you!


AlliE said...

I'm still reading. I don't always comment, but I read. Well, I read everything you send/post. :-P

I think you are doing a great job with the purge and one day this summer we're going to have a party at your house. You know what that means. we're going to randomly do some task you've put off forever. like put baseboards in your living room. I'll just show up with a brad nailer and a chop saw and we'll have fun. :-P ha ha!

I'm really bad for the drive by renos aren't I???

Momma bear said...

me,me,me I read this always even if I don't comment.

I get the whole purge thing when we moved I got rid of LOTS, but it always seems there is more I think I need to do the basement if I could just find the energy

forward tumble said...

me too.

love you, Ter, I'll be in touch when back home.


Saffy said...

Hi there, I just stumbled across your blog today and I just don't know how to do justice to the words "I'm so incredibly sorry". I've lost a child and I know the pain and journey of that grief. But I can't begin to comprehend losing both my baby and my husband. You are one heck of a strong woman. Hugs.

laura_darrow said...

Hello there,

I realize this is terribly late, but I wanted to tell you that I feel terrible for how lonely you are feeling, and how terribly selfish I feel for how lonely I have felt with my better half away visiting in New Brunswick for the last two months while I'm up north in Alberta. How selfish. I'm just really terribly sorry. But I also feel you might be tired of hearing the "sorrys"....they don't do much.

I'm a stranger, I'm really late in all this... but if I were there, wherever you are, I'd be a real-life friend who would have shown up for your barbeques, shown up for bear cake, and I would have gone to your relay kick-off. While people "in your life" may not be there for you, I hope you find an ounce of comfort in knowing that there is someone who would love to have dropped by for a few hours to hang out. I'm sure lots of people wh have read this blog, or who are going to stumble upon it, feel the same way... please find strength in knowing that there are people who don't even know you, but care immensely.

You matter, your husband matters, and your little bear matters too. Don't think otherwise.