Saturday, August 15, 2009

Outsider

That's what I am now.

An outsider.

Someone who doesn't matter at all. not one bit.

so i found out my MIL was in town. No one told me.
She never responded to my invitation to come out and see me.
never replied to my saying I have to be out there at the end of the month, would you like a visit?

nothing.

I should have been the one who died. no one would miss me.

7 comments:

Liz said...

That is horrible. I can't believe she would do that. How dense is she to not see that you are the one suffering!?!

A Bear and His Honey said...

I know she is suffering too. It's not like her to not reply to a letter I sent. I don't know what's going on, exactly. I know her mom's been sick but I don't know anything more than that. But I sent her a letter over a month ago, first of all inviting her to come spend babybear's birthday & our wedding anniversary here with me, because it was the first year without B. I also mentioned in that email that my brother is getting married at the end of August, in HER town, like 2 minutes away from her apartment. I can't hear on the phone so I can't just phone her. I'm just confused about this because she usually calls or writes on babybear's birthday. Up til now she's always been one of the only family members to remember her. I don't know. I know she lost her son too. :(

Liz said...

Yeah but shouldn't now be the time to come together to support one another? Were you close before Brian died?

A Bear and His Honey said...

We got along fine yeah. B was pretty close to his mom.

Momma bear said...

Oh honey, I don't understand in laws at all I am sure that my MIL would be gone if anything happened in fact she's been here for 3 years I don't think she's ever gone to Mackenzie mind you my folks don't go either, they avoid his b day cause its to hard like its not hard for me and them ignoring him isn't hard for me!!! I hope you find out what's up!!

Niecey said...

I'm so sorry. Maybe she's just at that stage in her grieving journey. I isolated myself from people a few months into my loss, and just didn't want to be around people. A year or two later I needed people and was sorry that I had pushed so many friends away.

I'm sorry it feels like she's leaving you out or pushing you away. I hope she comes to realize you need each other and could be such a source of support to each other right now.

Jen Sue Wild said...

I am sorry that your MIL for what ever the reson is has not contacted you.

Teri, You are wrong on one account you should not have been the one to die .. You would be missed by many. I know you may not feel like you matter right now but I want you to know you matter to me and I would miss you.