Gut Feelings

So far, in my life, my gut feelings have been right.

I'm tired of them being right.

I'm also tired of it being right but in a different way than I thought.

I had a gut feeling I would never be a mother....
.... I got pregnant but my child died in womb.

I had a gut feeling my marriage was ending despite my husband's claims that he had no intention of ending our marriage...
.... then my husband got sick and died.

I had gut feeling that college wouldn't work out for me...
... I somehow graduated but I couldn't get into the field because I lacked the experience that employers wanted me to have (uh, how am I supposed to get experience?) (and I actually believe this was just an excuse because they didn't want to deal with a deafie.

This goes back even further in life....

My whole life. even now.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of trying and trying and nothing comes out of it.

I'm tired of having to change my dreams, and only to have them crushed too.