Sunday, March 29, 2009

Where Do I Belong?

Well, I don't fit in at SHARE anymore. I am not just a bereaved parent anymore, I'm a bereaved wife too. I am not TTC and I'm not Parenting After A Loss.

TCF is for parents of children who have died at any age, and while they are a good group, I never really fully felt comfortable with TCF, at least the local chapter. And again, I'm not just a bereaved parent, but a bereaved wife.

Where do I belong? Really, how many people at my age (33) have lost both their spouse and their child?

I don't belong anywhere.

All my friends are married and / or have children.

I don't belong there either.

All my life I have been the abnormal one because of my hearing loss. I was the only deafie in a school of hearing kids for most of my growing up years.

Why couldn't I have had even a bit of a normal life?

I am having a bad day.

I feel so alone.

5 comments:

April said...

You are not alone, Ter! We all care about you very much! Please know that...we're here for you!

Sarah said...

i can't imagine how alone you feel terri! i really wish there was something i could do to make it better but i know that i can't. all i can do is be here for you as a friend and give you a shoulder to cry on.
i hope you can find somewhere to fit in b/c i know it helps to have a place you feel comfortable at. is there any sort of widow support group in town? i know you are still missing babybear like crazy too but maybe someone there has also lost a child and can relate to your journey.

i love you t!!!
(((((hugs)))))

Tina said...

Hugs.....

Zil said...

Ter - you are so not alone in the struggle to find a place to fit in. And it's okay to have a bad day. Lean on us - that's why we're here.

forwardtumble said...

big hug from across the Atlantic, i'm sorry. I'm still looking for that magic wand to make all this go away and happiness to return to life. And you'd be the first to use it! I drew a picture of me in the future thinking that if I can see myself being happy again I will move towards that image/goal. it helps me a little bit...
lots of love, Ines