Friday, March 27, 2009

4 months since you left me

Dear Bear,

It has been 4 months since you left me. I'm still waiting for you to come show me the way.

I miss you so much... there are no words to express just how much I miss you and babybear.

I miss your smile
your laugh
your odd sense of humor
I miss you annoying me
I miss cooking together
and eating at the kitchen table.
I miss chatting with you about my day
and hearing about yours.
I miss watching you play with emmie
no one could get her to run like you do
I miss your work ethnic
and how you tried to motivate me
I miss you
I miss snuggling on the couch together,
even if you complained I was squishing you.
I miss your enthusiasm
I even miss your practical jokes
and playing games of Skip-Bo.
I miss planning our future together,
even after our hearts were broken.
I miss you taking care of me
I miss you being next to me at night
I miss you coming home
and I miss you being home when I come home
I miss having someone to talk to
I miss using my voice
I miss hearing your voice too
I miss your silliness,
the way you crawled on the floor pretending to be a snake,
or the way you pretended to be a growling bear
I missed the way you made me laugh til I choked
I miss "beating you up" and how it made you chuckle.
I miss you rolling your eyes when I sang kiddie songs to you
I miss the little notes you left me every day
even if they were just saying when you'll be home.
I wish I kept them.
I miss waving good bye with you signing "I Love You"
I miss all the little things you did for me, and with me.
I miss how you remembered our little girl
and brought me little bears in her honor.
I miss your blue eyes
and holding your hand.
I miss how much you loved holidays
and I miss how you were stuck in the 80's.
I miss going places with you
even just to the grocery store.
I miss sitting in the passenger seat of the car.
I miss folding your clothes
I miss just being with you
hugging you and being hugged.
loving you and being loved
Most of all
I miss you
(and babybear)

9 comments:

Carebear said...

Saw your comment on SITS. Just finished reading the story of your sweet BabyBear, and this list of things you love and miss about your husband. I'm so sorry for your losses. I wish I had something else to say, but I'm not great with words. Please know that my heart aches for you, and I am thinking of you on this difficult day. ((HUG))

Juls said...

This is perfect. My prayers are with you. BIG BIG HUGS!

American in Norway said...

Stopping by from SITS... Sending you hug from Norway... Hang in there... You have had a tough road..

Yaya said...

Ter,
What beautiful writing. I'm so sorry for your losses.
(((Hugs)))

April said...

That was so touching...it came right from your heart! God bless you, my friend, on this day and everyday ahead.

momtimes4 said...

beautifully said - thank you for sharing, and reminding me of all the little things I would miss of my husband too. ((hugs))

Amber said...

Beautiful post, Ter.

roy/elisabeth dean said...

sweet, sweet post Ter,
I will be thinking about you all day today~
♥,Lilly

Laurie in Ca. said...

Beautiful words to your Bear Ter. The wonderful little things that make life with the one you love so very comfortable and complete. My heart hurts for you and I am praying for you as you miss him and all of these special things that make life so precious.

Love and Hugs, Laurie