Updates

I wrote a letter to CPP (Canada Pension Plan) in regards to their rejection due to my age. I'm 33, you must be 35 or older to collect and/or have a child under the age of 18 and dependent (or over 18 if they are disabled) , and/or you must have a disability yourself.

Well, even though I *do* have a child, whether they choose to count her or not, I also have a severe-profound hearing loss. That means I am legally deaf.

I wrote to them, and said that while it is not impossible for me to gain employment, it hinders the process, and it also makes it more difficult for me to get good employment.( For example, I can not hear on the telephone, so I could not do a secretary job even though I can do everything else a secretary does, it is a big part of their jobs to answer telephones. )

Thankfully, they did not dismiss me entirely, and have sent me more forms to fill out. As I look through them, I honestly do not think they will change their answer, due to the fact that I *can* work, but at least they are giving me another chance to get survivors' benefit.

I must also jump in here and explain something that I did not realize in my previous post about this. I still got a "death benefit" for my husband's death. It was not a lot of money, but I did get it. So, I feel a little less duped. I also came to realize that I will still qualify for the Survivor's benefit once I turn 65, but my husband and my daughter both proved that people don't necessarily live that long, and I could use the help now.

So again, while I do not necessarily think they are going to overturn their original response, I am thankful for the chance to appeal it. I think I will be less frustrated with it now that I have this opportunity.

This isn't about the money, but about making all my husband worked for worth the trouble.

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In regards to my van... I believe I already mentioned that I did not win the life insurance claim on the van. They are claiming that my husband knew he had cancer the day we bought the van when in fact we did not know until a week later. They claim he knew because he had surgery 2 weeks before we got the van, but he was having surgery for what was identified at the time as a lipoma which, basically, is a fat deposit. A big huge clump of fat.

In any case, I have yet to appeal it, I know I am running out of time, but the thought of it depressed me so much that I have just kind of left it. My brother thinks that I should contact a lawyer and see what they suggest. I am worried about it costing more than the cost of the van. We had a 5 year payment plan of approximately 350 dollars a month. We were just under a year into our plan when my husband died.

With my hearing loss, I hesitate to telephone people, but I am going to have to just do it, and soon. I think my husband would want me to fight it. Then at least I can say I did all I could do.

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I have to get cracking on pulling together income tax stuff. We are usually on the ball with this but this year, I'm way behind. I am stressed out about it. The last 2 or 3 years I have found myself bawling especially when they ask us "do you have any children?". Last year I was so upset that I just ignored them completely and let my husband answer questions while I wrote on a piece of paper in anger "yes, I do have a child and she died and I'm stuck her in hell". Well, this year the sediment is basically the same, except that I won't be able to ignore the H&RBlock person.

So, what am I to do? I don't know. My husband would tell me to just do it. I know, I know, easier said than done. But do it, I will. Eventually.

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In other news, I have applied to go back to school. If I get in, then great. If not, then I don't know. We'll see. I do have to make decisions soon. Currently, I'm not working. I'm living off our savings and the insurance money. It won't last.

If I get into this program, and am approved for a student loan, it will not start until September, and I may have to find a part time job to sustain me until then. At least, if I get in, I can focus knowing that I will only have to find something temporary until September. Maybe I could get a babysitting job, haha yeah, lets pretend I'm a teenager.

Well, other than that there is not a whole lot new. I don't know if anyone is still reading this blog, but if you are, then now you are updated.

To keep up with me in other aspects of my life, I am still blogging on my regular blog. You're welcome to visit me there, if you wish. I will keep posting here as I have updates or on special days.

Again, thank you for all your support the last few months.