Today is three months since you went to join our babybear in the sky. You forgot to take me with you. You said you would. I am waiting for you to come and get me.
Life on earth is not worth living without you and babybear. Do you remember not long ago I told you I needed something to live for? Well, what do I have to live for now? My family is gone.
I know I should try and be positive and think about all the good times we have. But I struggle to remember them. We were only a few days shy of our second wedding anniversary when our lives shattered.
I am not ready nor able to think of anything good. I can only remember your pain and mine. I can only feel sadness and in fact, I even feel some jealousy that you are holding our baby girl, and I am not.
I can only feel guilt, for I know I pushed you both away.
I would do anything to bring you back. I hope you know my love for you is not fake.
You've made your point. I get it. Now come back. Come and get me and take me home with you.
I know that you are thinking "stop it!" but I can not. I can not stop. I need you and I need our babybear.
I function only because it's all I know how to do. But I am not living life. I am just...existing.