I have been going through old photos of Bear and our times together. It makes me so sad, but also glad to have had all those memories. Maybe soon I'll post a few photos.
I still can't believe he's gone.
Some days I wake up and think I better get to the hospital. Then I remember he's not there.
I don't really notice that he's not at home, or in the same room as me. We worked opposite shifts for most of our time together, and then his most recent job had him starting at 3:30 or 4:30 in the morning, so he was in bed earlier.
But what I have noticed, is that he hasn't COME home.
I notice that he's not in bed when I go to bed, as he has been the last two years with his current job. He went to bed at 7 and I would follow a few hours later. He was gone when I woke up, so waking up without him now doesn't hit me too difficult .
I notice when it's time to make a meal, that he's not there to help me prep the food, and nor is he there to help me eat it. I am cooking for one, not two, and not three as I should be.
Those are the times it hits the most.
I've probably already posted all of this...
I shouldn't be looking at photos, but what am I supposed to do? Just forget? I can't. I won't.