2008 is finally coming to a close. What a horrible year it was. It ties for number one spot for "Worst Year Ever!" with 2005, when my daughter died. At least in 2005, I was happy for a little while, but the horribleness outweighs the happiness of that year.
While I'm glad to see 2008 gone, I am not looking forward to a new year. My experience is that life does not get better. You do not have any control over your own life. Nothing goes as planned.
I took an Intro to Psychology course when I was in college and the one thing that sticks to my mind is the theory of internal and external locus of control. I have thrived to be internal but the external factors have always gotten in the way. My life would be entirely different if things went the way I tried to steer them. Now, I know things can never be entirely internal locus of control, but it seems to me that not one thing has ever gone my way.
Perhaps I'm overly sensitive right now, having just lost my husband. But it seems to me my whole life has been cursed and those I love are being affected. I truly believe that my husband and my daughter suffered because of me and for that, I can never forgive myself.
Good riddance, 2008. You will not be missed. You were just another year to add to my miserable life.