Friday, January 22, 2010

Sometimes I Think It'd Be Better To Stink

Something I noticed....
almost every time I have a shower
I find myself bawling.

What is it about the hot water hitting me that opens up the tear ducts?

It's not that I don't cry any other time, but I get into hysterical cries almost anytime I shower.

and as I'm crying, I'll think back to a day shortly after his 3rd surgery, when he was home recovering. I had come home from work and was having my shower and I started thinking about him having his surgery and cancer and how unfair it was and I burst out crying so hard I nearly fell down.

He somehow managed to bring himself upstairs without help to see why I was crying. I said I didn't know. I just had an awful feeling that he was being taken away from me too.

and thinking about that day makes me cry even more.

Why is it my gut feelings are always dead on?! (no pun intended)

1 comment:

Diane said...

Its ok that you are crying in the shower. Allow yourself that as one place you can and will grieve and think about Bear. Its an easy place to hide our tears. I have cried many a times in the shower.
Big Hugs Ter!