open letter

Open Letter To A Few Certain Someones:

To the ones who said "are you better now?" : No, I am not "better". There is no such thing as "better". I'm "living" but that doesn't mean I'm "better". I wasn't sick. I didn't break a bone. I lost my daughter and my husband. The only way things would be "better" is if they come back. I realize you are trying to express your concern, but this is not how to do so.

To the one who couldn't stand the fact that I was sad & crying and decided to anger me instead: how dare you? how dare you try and manipulate my grief? How dare you say to me that crying isn't good for my blood pressure and then anger me with such harsh words thus making my blood pressure increase even more so? Trust me, it's alot harder to come down from waves of anger than from waves of grief.

Refer back to the "do's and don'ts of grief support", if you really do wish to be supportive. While it refers mostly to a parent who lost a child (well, that's me too), many of the same do's and don'ts also qualify to the lost of a spouse.