No End Date

So, Alli posted about a website where you can search for yourself. I did a search using our last name. I found our phone number, address. My facebook did not show up but I think that's because I use my maiden name in addition to my married name.

But the thing that made me sad was coming across the publications in which your name is on the author list. Sometimes I forget about these publications. I have them upstairs still in the box from when we moved into this house. I know they are boring (and now well-outdated) education manuals but I will keep them forever, simply because they are a part of your life. I failed to mention this part of your life in your obituary, probably because it was before I met you or shortly thereafter our meeting but before we became friends.

But the thing that was most noticeable was that next to your name in the library database (where the link on the website led to) was that you did not have an end date. It still said 1970-

It gave me a sense of momentary hope... hope that all of this is a mistake and that you really are still here, I just lost you somewhere. Maybe you're still at the hospital and wondering why the hell I've not come to visit.

But, obviously, having been in the library field for several years myself, I know that they are not always going to be up-to-date on author's information, certainly when the author is not well known.

Honestly, I don't think you even wrote much in these publications, just gathered all the stats for this book. I wish I could ask you again. I feel like I'm forgetting things about you. Mundane things that are not apart of our every day life. I feel like there's so much more I have to say to you. There's so much more I have to learn about you.

There just wasn't enough time.