Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Do I Make You Proud?

Today, I had to get our income taxes done. It was difficult. But wouldn't you know it, this was the first time in 3 years I didn't spend the whole time crying. Part of this, I think, is because I *had* to focus. I *had* to communicate. I could not rely on my husband to communicate for me. Some of it had to do with the fact that the woman who did our taxes this year was much better with her communication. The last 2 years we had this old guy who took forever to do anything and appeared to be as blind as a bat.

Anyway, as we were finishing up, I found myself conversing in my head to my husband. I asked him if he was proud of me for getting through today. It reminded me of a song.

A while ago, on SHARE, someone posted about how this song made them think of their baby gone too soon. The lyrics may not immediately bring that impression to those who have not lost someone close to them, but as a bereaved mother, and now wife, I certainly felt a connection to this song. For over 3 years now, I have been living my life to honor my daughter. And now, I live my life for my husband as well.

I can only hope I make you even the least bit proud, Bear.



[Verse One:]
I've never been
The one to raise my hand
That was not me
And now that's who I am
Because of you
I am standing tall
My heart is full
Of endless gratitude
You were the one
The one to guide me through
Now I can see
And I believe
It's only just beginning

[Chorus:]
This is what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
Do I make you proud

[Verse Two:]
I guess I’ve learned
To question is to grow,
That you still have faith,
Is all I need to know,
I’ve learned to love,
Myself in spite of me,
And I’ve learned to
Walk on the road I believe.

Everybody needs to rise up
Everybody needs to be loved
To be loved
Everybody need to rise on
Everybody needs to be loved, to be loved

This is what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you, do I make you proud
This is what we dream about
Never been afraid of standing out
Do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been
Never been afraid of standing out

Do I make you proud
Do I make you proud

4 comments:

Jen Sue Wild said...

What a big step for you!!
I am proud of you, and I know Baby bear and big Bear are super proud of you too!!

roy/elisabeth dean said...

Another beautiful song, Ter.
And you certainly make US proud, if that means anything to you!

I think you are getting stronger every day~
♥,Lilly

April said...

There is no doubt that both your husband and daughter are smiling down on your right now...hearts full of pride!

Why Do We Even Have That Lever? said...

I'm so glad this day was not as hard for you as you expected it to be. HUGS.

(And he is proud of you Ter. They both are.)