Friday, February 13, 2009

More Proof That I Suck At Being Alone

I am not sure if I have mentioned it on this blog, but I have a severe-profound hearing loss. (This means completely deaf in one ear and almost completely deaf in the other). My husband was hearing.

I wear a hearing aid in my so-called good ear, so usually I can "get along" okay. However, my hearing aid has been acting up as of late, and I have not felt like going to get it fixed. And so, since I have no need to leave the house for a few days, I thought I'd give my ears a break.

Well, just a few minutes ago, I went to turn the stove on to make some lunch.

The stove was vibrating. ALOT.

I got a little worried and put my hearing aid back in to see if I could figure out what was going on. Well, not only was it vibrating it was making a huge noise. It freaked me out! I began to cry.

I finally figured out that the timer on the stove was ringing. I keep forgetting that this stove has a timer as my old one had one that did not work. I must have turned it on yesterday when I made lunch and did not shut it off all the way.

Having not worn my hearing aid, means I did not hear the noise. On the other hand, my poor dog has been listening to this for at least 24 hours now.

Anyway, the point of this is that if Bear was here, he would have noticed the noise and shut it off.

My pup should not have to listen to noise all day and night because I'm unfit.

I'm incapable of being alone.


April said...

I so wish I could give you a big ol' hug and tell you that everything will be alright. I know you're struggling with a lot of things right now. Just know that I care...I REALLY do, and I'm keeping you close in my prayers! Sending hugs and blessings to you today!♥

Why Do We Even Have That Lever? said...

OK Missy. Here's the deal. You need to remember what life was like "BB" or Before Bryan.

Now, before you get insulted or upset, I'm not implying Forget Bryan, I'm saying remember your life before he moved to Winnipeg.

In that time many things happened for you. You lived alone in an apartment, didn't you? Didn't you cook for yourself and clean by yourself? Weren't you capable and didn't you get along OK?

I can't remember the exact time line because I didn't know you then. But, didn't you even go so far as to support yourself while going to Red River full time?

As hard as it is right now, and I'm not suggesting that I would be better, if I were you I'd have moved home with my Mommy, well, while my husband was in the hospital! But, as hard as it is right now, try and remember the person you once were, before Bryan. You have that person inside you. You've grown so much since you were that person, and you do not need to be JUST that person again, but remember what made her strong and independant and able to move, BY HERSELF from Smallish-Town to Big City! That took GUTS!

Remember that plucky, gutsy person that you were, and take her good qualities, and apply them to yourself now (wouldn't that be easier if you were a robot?)

Your "new normal" won't be defined in a day Ter, or a week or a month, or even in the whole year of 2009. but, there will be a point at which you look back and think "I'm finally starting to be OK." It won't be soon, but it will come.

You aren't incapable of being alone. you are very capapble. You are just like all of, and just like Nickleback says:

"No body wants to go it on their own, everyone wants to know their not alone..."

You aren't alone at home, and you aren't alone in this world. I'll be there at 6:30 tonight to solve that stupid dumb assed autopac thing with you, and then on Sunday to take you to the Americas!!


Why Do We Even Have That Lever? said...

ha ha! Now I'm laughing at my Grammer.... bad grammer! "their" or "they're" (correct use!) or there!


It's Friday!!!

Jo said...

I couldn't possibly have said it better.


Hope you got the autopac thing sorted out... and you're comin' to the US already??? LMK if you find cheesecake pudding :)

roy/elisabeth dean said...

Don't sweat the small stuff sweetie!
Stove timer = small stuff
You're a terrific person! Don't sell yourself short!
Happy Saturday~
♥ Lilly