Since my brother is in town and could take care of the pup, I decided to spend the night at the palliative care unit with my bear!
Even though he dozed alot throughout the evening, it was still nice to be in the same room as him all night and not be worrying about the time or as the case may be, the nasty weather outside the window.
The staff provided me with a cot and we mostly just watched tv all night and talked and dozed a bit. It was nice. I miss that.
While watching tv with him, it was difficult to see him tear up every time a Christmas commercial came on. He cried that he might not have another Christmas and if he does, it will not be a very good one. I feel so bad when he said that and I don't know how to comfort him. I tell him that we don't know how much time he has, he could have months. And we will do whatever we can to make this a holiday to remember.
But the truth is I worry about it too.
Today, I noticed how swollen Bear's right leg has become. His feet have been swelling a while now but his leg suddenly got bigger than the other one. We mentioned it to the doctor when he came on his rounds this morning and he was scheduling an ultrasound for Bear's leg to look for any blood clots that may be there. I had to leave so I will find out more about that tomorrow. I'm really glad that this doctor is taking the "better safe than sorry" route and keeping Bear as comfortable as possible.
The doctor tells us today that he feels that Bear's health is on a plateau. While Bear may be still feeling a bit miserable and uncomfortable, medically speaking he has not gotten any worse in over a week now. This is encouraging news. It does NOT mean that Bear is not severely sick, he is. He WILL get worse, it is just a matter of when, and the longer he is on a plateau, the better.
I would like to thank M&M for their generosity. Words can not express how much your help means to us and I hope someday we can return the favor or pay it forward. Thank you. You are wonderful people, and I'm so grateful to know you. I know our daughters are playing together in Heaven and that makes me happy. From the bottom of my heart.... Thank You.