Thursday, October 16, 2008

Procrastinating

I've been awake since 6:00. I snoozed til 7:00 when I could not hold my bladder any longer.

I've been wandering aimlessly around the house. I forgot my dog outside.

I tried to play with her but my heart is not in it.

I'm afraid to go to the hospital. I'm afraid of more bad news.

But I have to head over there soon. It's already after 11:00 and the doctor wants me there at noon to discuss "the next step". Which I guess is putting him in a home. My almost-38 yr old husband in a home. And not our home.

Whatever did we do to deserve this?

5 comments:

Dawn said...

Oh Teri I have no word to say but know that I understand Sending you {{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} from miles away
Dawn

Stacey said...

Oh Terri I'm so sorry, I wish there was something I could do for you. You and B will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Could you not get home care to come to your house?

Jo said...

We have Hospice here in the states... do you have that there? Where they come to the home and take care of people who are terminally ill.

I am with Dawn.. there are just no words to say.

HUGS HUGS and more HUGS

Sarah C. said...

Ter, I am so saddened and angry for you two. Unfair doesn't begin to cover it. I wish I could reach out and give you both a hug and make it better. I'm praying for you. Praying for comfort. Praying for a miracle.

Totallyscrappy said...

Oh, I'm so sorry and saddened by this journey you are on. You don't deserve it. And don't feel badly about getting angry at God. He can take it! He knows your grief and fears.
I will pray for your husband's comfort and peace, for guidance for you in all the decision making that you are doing, for you and your fears and questions and unknowns, and for the doctors and nurses treating your Bear. I also pray that God strenthen those around you to be the support system that you need today and in the coming weeks and onward.

Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27